It’s Super Bowl weekend, the movie theatres are supposed to be empty. What a great time to open a movie which appeals to women! The story of a young woman, a wedding planner, who falls in love with a man about to marry another woman. A woman who just hired her to plan the wedding! Can she steal the guy away? Will she find happiness? Can you just see the hordes of females storming out of their homes, leaving the men in their lives to that stupid game, to fill all those theatre seats and have a Super Bowl weekend really worth remembering? Can you? Well, after seeing this movie, frankly, I can’t. I’m thinking the studio people have just dumped this movie off on a weekend they have long given up on.
Jennifer Lopez plays Mary, our wedding planner. This is the lady who thinks she’ll be bigger than Madonna one day. Well, I haven’t heard her sing, but her movie career is so far almost as big as Madonna’s, and that ain’t saying much. Of course, she’s always got Sean “Puffy” Combs to fall back on. That is, if he isn’t falling over himself from a gunshot wound.
Mary hasn’t had a date in two years, but is a sensitive, intelligent, beautiful woman who’s fantastic at her job, and has dreamed of her own perfect wedding. Why no dates? They explain it, but it’s pretty hard to accept. Her father, played by Alex Rocco, raised her in Italy for a few years and has decided it’s time for her to marry, so he sends for an Italian boy she once played with to be her groom. He is, of course, still incredibly in love with her. This is not only unbelievable but annoying. The guy, named Massimo (no, not the designer, he’s Mossimo) is an irritating comic disaster. Speaking with a bad fake accent, he is supposed to be some of the comic relief of the movie. Yep, we’re in trouble here. And people pay to have these movie scripts written!
Matthew McConaughey plays the part of Steve, the guy Mary falls for, but he’s engaged to Fran, played by Bridgette Wilson-Sampras (yes, tennis fans, the real life wife of Pete Sampras). You see, Mary meets Steve before she discovers he’s the groom in Frans’ wedding plans. This is where things really fall apart. Since Steve goes on a date with Mary while engaged to Fran, the writers of this nincompoop parade(I just really wanted to use nincompoop in a sentence) try to balance his indiscretion with equal missteps by Mary. Such as her “engagement” to the Italian nitwit, and Steves trying to convince Mary they weren’t really on a date. Lame, lame, lame. I can suspend belief plenty when a movie has something going for it, but since this one didn’t, it just gets annoying. I will say McConaughey is light years ahead of everyone else in this movie on the acting scale. But what’s up with his hair? When you’re bored by a movie you notice other things, and his hair was weird. Too much humidity, I guess. Ever hear of a comb, Matthew? As for Jennifer Lopez, the Madonna want-to-be, this movie will probably be remembered as her “Shanghai Surprise” (anybody remember that one, which starred Madonna? How about “Who’s That Girl?”). I can say that she does have the body. Unlike all these gaunt women like the females on the TV sitcom “Friends,” Lopez has some meat on her. That rear end is deserving of some kind of honor. But “The Wedding Planner”, brings up the rear end too. I give it a “3.0.”
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2001
I guess the first question a lot of you are asking is “why?”. The first “Crocodile Dundee” movie was fifteen years ago and that was pretty funny and original. A few years later there’s a sequel and it’s not so funny. In fact, the concept is looking pretty played out. So, why come to LA thirteen years later for a second sequel? Ka-ching, Ka-ching, that’s why.
Only because I have to, here’s the basics. Mick (Paul Hogan) runs a tourism business in Australia where he lives with his “girlfriend” and their ten year-old son. Yes, he’s still with Sue (Linda Kozlowski), but they never married. The reasons for that I can only figure are that it leaves a nice sentimental hole to fill for the ending. Sue is still a journalist but I’ve got to say Linda looks good. I’m guessing it’s a nip and a tuck here and there as she’s headed towards looking like Faye Dunaway. By the way, have you seen her lately? I think if we get another earthquake, she’ll shatter. Anyway, Sue is called on by her father to come to LA and fill in for one of his newspaper guys, who has died suddenly. So, off the plane they come and aren’t we lucky? Sue goes off to work, the kid goes off to school and Mick, well, he does what Mick does. That is, the “fish out of water” thing.
I tried to look at this movie from two possible angles to be fair to it. First, I figured it’s a laid back kind of thing. They’re Aussies you know. Don’t expect to be rolling over in laughter or breathless with plot twists. Take it easy and see crazy city life the way Mick would. Well, that worked until they got off the plane. The LA stereotype jokes were funny when Steve Martin did them in “LA Story”. They’re not funny now. See Mick in the hot tub confused by the remote control. See Mick mistake the valet for a car thief. How about Mick being mugged and joking that in LA, they do everything by car? Funny enough for you yet? About this point, I figured something out. This was one cheaply made movie. How much could Paul Hogan cost at this point? Add to that the fact that the movie is shot here and the “plot” is about Sue’s trying to uncover some devious goings on at a small movie studio. Talk about low budget, they use studio back lots as sets! They could have filmed this thing without leaving the office. Throw in Paul Rodriguez as a movie extra (which is probably what he’s down to by now) and you know how really lame this thing is.
Now here’s the other way I tried to approach this movie. From the marketing, I’m getting the idea it’s being pushed as “family entertainment”. That means little of the good stuff. Tame language, tame violence, tame everything. So I tried to look at this as an eight year old would. In fact, they made Mick kind of “politically correct” to fit that mold. He tells his kid that you only kill animals you hunt if you’re planning to eat them. And when his kid starts making lewd comments about women, Mick scolds him. Seems he picked it up from the pubs. In fact, the only lewd people in this movie are a couple of goofy women who fawn over Mick because he’s so much the “cowboy”. Horrible, just horrible. By the end of this movie, things start hitting the “Home Alone” theme with Mick setting up traps to ward off his attackers. It’s still not funny, but I did hear some kids finally giggling. So add a point if you’re about seven years old. As for the rest of us, we ought to be glad Paul Hogan is sixty years old and this should be the last of Crocodile Dundee. Well, not if this turd makes money. “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles” rates a “2.0” from me. Throw the makers of this movie on the “barbie” for me, would you?
Friday, January 19th, 2001
Jack is back. Has it really been over three years since he’s been in a movie (“As Good As It Gets”) ? Jack Nicholson plays a cop named Jerry Black. It’s his last day of work before retirement and while at the big send-off party, he gets drawn into a fresh homicide case. A seven year old girl has been sexually assaulted and brutally murdered. The cops around Jack quickly round up a suspect, get a confession, and believe the whole thing is now for the history books. But not Jerry. The grizzled veteran doesn’t like the way things don’t seem to add up and goes off on his own to look further into the case. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he promised the little girl’s Mom he’d find the killer. A man like Jerry just can’t retire under these circumstances.
Naturally, Jerry can’t get any of the other cops to see that this thing isn’t over, so he decides to sort of retire. He moves out to the area he believes the real killer is lurking and without telling anyone what he’s up to, he sets about investigating the murder of the little girl, along with some other unsolved cases he believes may be related.
This is a movie which moves along at, well, like Jack, a 60 something year olds pace. I don’t mind that, you might. We get many pretty shots of the Reno-Lake Tahoe area, and we get all four seasons of it at that. Credit the writers with some reality – homicides can take a year or more to solve. The way Jerry insinuates himself into the town is done so remarkably well, you almost forget he’s there to find a killer. The character Jack plays is so low key, so deferential, you wonder how good a cop he was. I saw him as the most benign homicide detective I’ve ever seen on screen.
He settles into a life with a local woman, played by Robin Wright Penn, and her eight year old daughter. It almost seems that he’s found a happy retirement. He’s attracted to her, and forms a bond with her daughter which seems authentic. But of course, once a cop always a cop, and as Jerry continues to track the killer, he may also be ruining his home life and cracking up. Is he on the right path towards a murderer or is he imagining so much that’s he’s only going to destroy himself?
The writers and Director Sean Penn wanted to give something besides a conventional cop tracking a killer story and they do. So much so that they hit you with a conclusion, that, well, let’s just say is pretty unconventional. That is not, however, what you should really be in that seat for – there are lots of other issues surrounding Jerry Black besides how good a cop he is, and whether or not he solves this case. Aging, retirement, and a solitary life without some special people in it are also what’s dogging Jerry. Jack Nicholson is a perfect choice to deliver all these things to the movie. But, I have to admit, I was a bit thrown off by the ending. As one guy near me muttered, “bummer”. I’ll say no more about that, but this is one well acted, take it or leave it movie, and I admire it for doing things other typical Hollywood productions wouldn’t. And talk about a cast – Vanessa Redgrave, Harry Dean Stanton and Benicio Del Toro all have small, but interesting parts. But what must it be like for Sean Penn to direct a love scene involving his wife and another man? Hey, and what if he gets into a jealous rage, and that other man is Jack Nicholson? That could get ugly. I give “The Pledge” an “8.0”.
Sunday, January 14th, 2001
The movie is now going into wider release after a short run for Academy Award consideration. I’m sure you know, but in case you don’t, it’s about the Cuban missile crises of October 1962. More specifically, the story focuses on the efforts of President Kennedy and the two men he appeared to trust the most – his brother, Attorney General Robert Kennedy, and somebody named Kenneth O’Donnell, a close friend and top advisor. Kevin Costner plays O’Donnell, Bruce Greenwood plays JFK and Steven Culp plays brother Bobby.
I’m glad the movie has gone into wider release. It’s definitely worth seeing – I just doubt it will be a blockbuster. It’s easy to say why – it’s a talky movie and the outcome of the crises is known. That’s why many will shun it, but I have to believe this is probably pretty close to the way the whole thing played out. Greenwood does an awesome job playing the President. For all his sexcapades, I’ve always believed JFK was a pretty calm, reasonable guy who was never quick to act, and like a faithful Democrat, never quick to use force to solve an international crises. And that’s exactly the way he’s depicted in this movie. It’s the way I wish I could be doing the same job . Collect the information from “the experts,” consider all the options, over and over again, and then, when all else fails, flex the mighty military muscle. Greenwoods performance is true to that form. I particularly was struck by JFK’s apparent ability to never give away his position or choose one too soon. He hears what you have to say, says “thank-you” and dismisses you. This is a tough situation for JFK, and the movie makes it clear his fathers failure (he’s referred to as an “appeaser”) as an ambassador during World War II weighs on his mind. How do you make Khrushchev and the commies understand we mean to blow up their missile sites without actually ever wanting it to come to that because it might mean a few million Americans could be killed?
If you have any interest in probably the closest we have come to all out war in the nuclear age, this is the movie for you. I’ve always wondered if the Soviets were to ever begin bombing us, who exactly orders that to happen? Khruschev or any of the other old farts that followed him into power? I don’t think so. It probably would have come out of some chaos some power vacuum, some error. What’s frightening is that this movie makes it clear the same chaos or vacuum or error could easily have come from our side. There’s a great scene between the Secretary of Defense, Robert McNamara (played by Dylan Walsh) and a Pentagon general which illustrates this quite clearly. And even though I knew the missile bases were eventually removed, it never lessoned the tension for me. Further, since I never knew the details of the deal that was struck, I was interested in how we exactly ended the whole thing. What I learned from the solution is that even though I hate politics, there’s something to be said for the stuff sometimes.
I have a few complaints about Thirteen Days, though. Kevin Costner’s character is pretty annoying for a while as he overdoes the Boston accent. Funny, as the movie goes on, either he backed off a bit or I stop noticing because it straightened itself out. He is also the “human connection” in the movie. We meet his family, which isn’t too bad, but we also have to put up with these phone calls he allegedly makes to some military pilots as they go off to spy on Cuba. Overdone and probably didn’t happen. Also, the copy of the movie I viewed had several scenes in which the overhead boom mike is clearly visible. That’s inexcusable if you’re hoping for an Oscar nomination. Maybe it was just the theatre I attended. And, maybe not. But overall, Thirteen Days is fine moviemaking. Greenwood deserves special mention for making something out of a character, JFK, who’s been done to death. Oh, and by the way, they do completely bypass any of the alleged JFK sexual appetite – considering Marilyn died about the same time, you’d think the stress on him would have doubled. By the way, how would JFK and RFK had time to plot her “suicide” with those missiles in Cuba? Something to think about. I rate “Thirteen Days” a 7.0 on my scale.
Saturday, January 6th, 2001
This is one of the biggies they talk about for Academy Award nominations. That should often be a warning to you because it might mean a movie only the critics like and the rest of us just stare at the screen.
That’s not the case here as this movie is something pretty special that I think most of us can enjoy. In case you don’t know, “Traffic” is a movie about the drug war, specifically focusing on the efforts in the U.S and Mexico. It’s told through various character viewpoints covering just about every side of the battle. Politicians, users, dealers, the DEA, the Mexican police and military. They’re all here. Sometimes their stories overlap, sometimes they do not. It’s two and half hours long, but you won’t be bored because things keep switching between stories so fast, you almost always have something new and different to follow.
The four main characters are played by Benicio Del Toro, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Don Cheadle. Benicio plays a Mexican police officer caught up in the corruption on the supply side of the drug problem. If you like “balanced” movies, his is one of the few morally centered characters in the film. It’s a great performance in a tricky situation. You often can’t figure out where he’s going to go in a situation but you always end up appreciating he’s there. Douglas plays an Ohio Supreme Court Justice who’s just been named the new national drug czar. Hard line and tough talking, he’s faced with his own personal problems when he discovers his daughter is quite the addict. This story is more straightforward then Benicios’, sometimes playing up the drama a bit, but you look forward to the updates. Zeta-Jones plays the unsuspecting wife of a major US druglord. And, no, she has no scenes with husband Michael. Her problem is to figure out what to do now that her lucrative lifestyle is threatened. She’s got one kid and another on the way and a husband facing a life sentence. What would you do? Play along and find out. Cheadle is a DEA agent working on the US side of the problem. He busted Zeta-Jones’ husband and now has to make sure the key witness against him stays alive for the trial. Another morally centered character facing less temptations than Benicios’, Cheadle nonetheless has his share of dilemmas and ,along with Benicio, are the characters I became the most emotionally invested in.
Traffic is probably about as real as it gets in portraying the drug war. This is why I like movies. The plot of this movie could have been taken right from a TV movie of the week. But because movie people have the budgets and the talent, you get a much better product. I can’t understand how many you spend time with dopey cop and drug TV shows when movies like this are available. It does often come off at times like a documentary, complete with the shaky camera bits like scenes out the TV show “Cops.” That made me feel like I was there. Since I’m pretty tired of the drug war and the whole debate over it, I’m impressed that a movie about it with so much reality to it could hold my attention. Plus I have to tell you the evident theme here is that we’ve lost the drug war. There’s too much profit to stop the supply and we ought to give treatment more emphasis. Since I basically agree with that thinking, I particularly liked the way “Traffic” plays out. You may not. But you’ll have to admit it’s compelling all the same. I give it a “9.0” on the scale. It would have made my Top 10 list for 2000 if I had seen it in time.
By the way, I did see another highly touted movie from last year – “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. I mostly don’t get it. It wouldn’t have been on my list of favorites. The fight scenes are played out like ballet. That should tell you all you have to know. Next week I’ll review “Thirteen Days”, the Cuban missile crises movie starring Kevin Costner.
