I feel like the fan base for these movies grows each time a new one comes out. Big mobs at the theatre I chose to see the latest installment – most of them young guys. It’s understandable. These movies are mostly about goofy potty jokes and mimicking other people. Guy humor, and, of course, I love it.
I won’t say much about the opening scene except that it’s full of cameos by some big stars and not nearly as funny as you might think. In fact, “Goldmember” starts off kind of slow. We begin in Hollywood and I generally hate movies that are set anywhere near Hollywood. Please, no more movies spoofing all of the cartoon characters that permeate the motion picture business. We get it already. Thank God “Goldmember” quickly moves on to another story.
But it does have an odd start. Dr. Evil (my favorite character in the crowd) is plotting his latest nasty deed with his regular group of henchman, including his son. What is weird and I guess pretty funny about this scene is that is looks like a completely ad-libbed collection of non-sequiters. All of which eventually devolves into Dr. Evil and his son Scotty (an underrated character played by Seth Green) trading mocking imitations of each other. I was a bit worried that would be the extent of the fun, but things take off from there.
In fact, I used to think of these Austin Powers movies as just a spy spoof – an updated “gross-out” version of the old TV series “Get Smart”, but it actually has developed into a story line like the “Star Wars” movies. But that’s getting too deep – mostly, you’ll either laugh or you won’t at the boy humor.
And I found myself laughing more than the people around me, which is unusual. Watch Scotty’s face as Dr. Evil unveils his latest plan to destroy the earth. It’s a tractor beam designed to bring a meteor in to crash into the planet. He calls it “Preparation H”. Scotty tries to tell him that’s a ridiculous name. What comes next are some classic comedy lines. Later on, Austin and Mini-Me( Dr. Evil’s tiny clone) team up and end up behind a white curtain casting shadow puppets and I don’t think I’ve seen a funnier sequence this year. Prepare yourself – they come up with just about every bodily expulsion including child birth and it’s hilarious.
One disappointment is the actual character “Goldmember”, also played by Mike Myers. He’s a Dutch guy stuck in the 1975 disco era and there isn’t too much there besides mocking his accent. But Michael Caine is a hoot as Nigel Powers, Austin’s Dad, and “Fat Bastard” gets a short scene where he ends up on the toilet bowl, of course. If you’re a guy, there’s nothing funnier than a fat guy with gas problems who ends up tossing his underwear on another guy’s face.
Oh yeah, did I mention this is a movie for boys? I mean actual young guys and those of us still ready to cut loose with a good poop joke. Mike Myers has a way of reaching our inner boy-child with these movies – I give “Austin Powers in Goldmember” a “7.0”.
Thursday, July 18th, 2002
This movie is a little out of place – released in the summer, it looks and feels like one of those late year Oscar-caliber pictures. Doesn’t matter to me – it’s a great movie whatever time of year you see it.
I know I’m not alone when I say many of us growing up wondered what our Dads did for a living. Many fathers were rather mysterious – imposing figures who quietly entered the house after a long day at work. They spoke very little about the job and, unlike Mom, their emotions were hard to figure. This story is told through the eyes of one boy – a twelve year-old named Mike Sullivan. His Dad is played by Tom Hanks and they look like a typical 1931 suburban family. Mike isn’t sure what Dad does all day, he just knows he works for kindly old Mr. Rooney, played by Paul Newman.
One day Mike spots Dad with a gun and that arouses his curiosity. You see Mr. Rooney is a local crime boss and Dad is his enforcer. Okay – his bill collector, his hit man, whatever you want to call him. So this is not a typical family where Dad works at the plant. But since Mike is just a kid, he follows Dad one day and sure enough, a guy gets plugged. The killer isn’t Dad, it’s the wacky son of Mr. Rooney. This guy then decides he has to kill Mike so he won’t talk because the son shouldn’t have killed that guy.
That sets up our moral dilemma encased in a story of very immoral guys. You see, Mr. Rooney is like a Dad to Tom Hanks, but Tom has to avenge some killings and save the life of his son Mike. That means he has to knock off Mr. Rooney’s biological son who started all this. And this was well played out. These are 1930’s mobsters, and unlike goofballs as in the John Gottis of today, they had a code and certain rules they had to live by. You kill my family, I kill you. A man always sticks by his blood relatives, no matter what. Plus, Tom is trying to save his kid from ending up in the same line of work as he has.
I can’t object to much in this movie – the acting is fantastic, the story absorbing, the violence just graphic enough. Hanks is great as the quiet tough guy. He pulls it off even without looking the part. Newman as the tortured crime kingpin is also sensational, trying to save Tom, his son and his own son. And Jude Law as the quirky hit man out to kill Hanks is also a great addition.
This film is directed by a guy named Sam Mendes, who is known for the movie “American Beauty”. I do have to say this – since Mendes was a theatre guy before he did films, he does have a tendency to go over the top. There’s a showdown scene late in the movie that is staged like a live play. I was reminded of “West Side Story” and half-expected the people to break out singing. But that aside, check out the scenery and staging here. It’s unbelievably elaborate and you can’t take your eyes off of it. You do feel right in the middle of 1931.
Some are complaining this movie tries too hard for award nominations. Others tell me they were “bored”. To that I say bring me more guys who try “too hard” because most movies I see look like “clock punching” jobs. And as to being bored – well, either you are into the people and the story or you’re not, and I was certainly was into the “Road To Perdition”. I give it a “10” on the scale.
Thursday, July 4th, 2002
It would be easy to write this movie off with a “been there, done that” type of attitude, but for me it just comes down to a certain attraction I have for the very premise of these movies.
It’s all about a hip, sarcastic spoof of those who believe the aliens live among us. It’s five years since Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones have been together as the secret government agents responsible for holding the planet together while a bunch of alien life forms do battle against each other. All while none of us notices. Generally, the creatures behave and blend in, but in this episode, Lara Flynn Boyle plays a very powerful one who has come to earth looking for something that will help her take over the universe. Or something like that. Doesn’t matter. The story is so unimportant – the fun is in watching the stunts and catching all the funny lines.
Agent Kay, played by Jones, is actually retired as the movie opens. His memory bank has been wiped clean by the neutralizer, and he now works as the Postmaster in a small town in Massachusetts. Agent Jay, played by Smith, has to resurrect Agent Kay’s memories and bring him back to the agency because he may be the only one who can figure out what the evil Lara Flynn is up to. It’s funny enough to have a top secret agent stuck working in a post office, but the scene where Agent Jay has to rescue Agent Kay is a hoot. Along for the ride is another agent, Frank. He’s actually a funny-faced pug and he nearly steals the show.
Yes, there was a part of me that kept saying, “didn’t they do this in the last movie?”, but five years is a long time and I realized how much I appreciate the sense of humor. A few times it looked like Smith and Jones were adlibbing as in a scene where Smith tells Jones to put on the black suit for the “last time… again” and then he pauses and smiles. It’s all a joke and it’s fun to be along for the ride. But check out Tommy Lee – he and Will have perfect chemistry on screen and the whole movie rises to a higher level when Jones is on screen. He’s got just the right combination of serious agent guy with a sarcastic edge. The movie sags when he and Smith are not in the scene.
I’m in it mostly for the laughs but the special effects are pretty good too. And I love it that they can actually pull all this off in the middle of New York City because that actually makes sense. Most of the time, people there don’t notice weird out of place people or moments, and, because the neutralizer can erase those things, it all fits together perfectly. Not that anything has to make sense. With some movies, you don’t need them to. This is one of them.
At about eighty-five minutes long, Men In Black II is a quick and silly time at the movies. Bring on number III, but it would probably help to wait a few years first. I give “M.I.B. II” an “8.0” on the scale.
