Some things you just know. When I saw trailers for this movie a few weeks back, it took a few minutes to realize it was a remake. It took me less than that to realize it’s going to be a bomb.

I picture looking up the box office numbers next week and seeing this clunker with about a 3 or 4 million dollar take. And judging by the audience I saw at the theatre, that money is mostly coming from a lot of retirement accounts. Can you say “blue hair”?

Of course, that may have plenty to do with the fact that the two main stars are about sixty years old. Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks play a pair of Dads whose kids are about to get married. Brooks is a uptight, anal-retentive podiatrist, Douglas is a free wheeling, easy going undercover CIA guy. Yes, it is one of those odd couple, mismatched buddy movies.

Time is overly spent on the silly CIA business, which is something about selling a super stealth submarine on the black market. Shortly after Douglas and Brooks meet, Douglas’ cover is blown, and so he naturally has to dupe Brooks into his zany undercover work. This is where all sort of mayhem ensues.

Yes, I say that tongue in cheek because unless you don’t get out much, it will all feel like a waste of ninety minutes. Last week I told you I can no longer put up with martial arts fighting that is coupled with ballet (“The Matrix Reloaded”). Now, I’m here to tell you that I can’t handle “casual” spy movies. That is, our super cool guy (Douglas) can get himself in and out of trouble with such ease, he can carry on a side conversation about something completely unrelated. Death defying car chases and airplane maneuvers are carried out smoothly and every hair remains in place.

To add to the difficulty with this movie, little that is said is very funny. A puffy faced Albert Brooks carries on with his Woody Allen act where every whiney line ends with a question mark or a sigh. Here’s one – as Brooks is served snake at a meal, he states he would rather eat Barbara Walters. Huh?

If that’s not bad enough, the side plot here involves making Douglas a better Dad and making Brooks more of a risk taker. Yawn! Well, at least the old folks who spent their 401K and Social Security money on this can get a nap. I give “The In-Laws” a “3.0” on the scale.