This week we go off the popular movie board because, quite frankly, it doesn’t look good out there. “Freddy versus Jason”? -that’s all I need to say.
I looked in the movie theatre listings and this movie is playing in seven theatres in Los Angeles and Orange counties. Yes, that’s it, seven theatres. But if you like a movie that really takes you inside people’s private lives and isn’t one of those dopey reality TV shows, then this one’s for you.
I guess they picked a dentist couple because the stereotype is that dentists are boring, emotionally detached people. Well, that would describe this couple, played by Campbell Scott and Hope Davis. They live in suburban New York City with their three young daughters and share a mouth mining practice.
This movie is hard to watch at times because it is all too real. In the first scene, Campbell Scott is inspecting the mouth of a new customer played by Dennis Leary. With all the close-ups and Scott’s running commentary, it was full of a little too much detail. It was a bit too much like one of John’s Cunning Dental commercials. But not too long after this, the movie kicks in gear when Scott discovers that his wife is having an affair.
You begin quickly to realize that this is how many couples deal with this development – they do nothing. While not presented with any lock solid proof, Scott is sure by his wife’s behavior that things are not good. But the problem is he cannot stand confrontation. So, he does nothing but think about it night and day. He daydreams and, eventually, the character Dennis Leary plays starts showing up in Scott’s imagination to coach him into being more aggressive. “Hit her, pound your fist on the table, be a man” he implores. Some of that advice is taken, most of it is ignored.
Scott is a wimp and he chose Leary as his imaginary friend because he perceives Leary as a take charge guy. Funny and strong at first, it gets old. What really lifts this movie is the sad but compelling fact that there are many couples like these two who are so caught up in their careers and kids, they can’t, or won’t, face up to something as damaging as one of them cheating.
Campbell Scott’s performance captures it all perfectly – you want to hit him and tell him to face up to things, but he is so great with his three whiny daughters and never lets on to them that you feel sorry for him at the same time. Gee, they even barf all over him, but he maintains composure.
The kids, too, are outstanding, acting (surprise) just like three little girls would. An added insight is provided by the family’s pediatrician who tells Scott that the kids are sick because they sense you and your wife are having problems. But just like in the real world, this guy is no “Marcus Welby” – he simply states his opinion and moves on. His attitude is –“not my life – what can you do?”
“The Secret Lives of Dentists” made me wince, made me squirm, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It beats any reality television show and by representing all that doesn’t happen, and all that isn’t said, it speaks volumes for the “lives of quiet desperation” many people lead. I give it a “9.0” on the scale.
Friday, August 8th, 2003
Everybody now – “da, nah, nah, da, nah, nah, da, nah, nah.” Honestly, I remember the Rhythm Heritage song better than I remember the TV show. Are we out of ‘70’s shows we can make into movies yet?
Have no fear – if you do not remember the TV show, you can spend the first hour of this movie getting reacquainted. After a brief look at the LAPD S.W.A.T. team in action in a clear imitation of the North Hollywood bank shootout from a few years ago, the movie spends plenty of time setting up who the S.W.A.T. people are, how they train, and how they relate to each other. I gave it a chance, but one hour is too long for a set-up.
At least they could have been more accurate. Instead of punishing a couple of S.W.A.T. guys for shooting a hostage, they could have made them even more admirable by punishing them for letting one of the crooks bleed to death. That is, after all, what did happen. Ah, but that’s too controversial for Hollywood. What we get is the usual couple of rebels suspended for doing the right thing by the usual anal retentive, overly politicized police captain.
Colin Farrell plays one of the punished guys, but gets his chance for a comeback when Samuel L. Jackson is brought back to run a new S.W.A.T. team. Throw in LL Cool J and Michelle Rodriguez, and you have the new, diversified, tough and ready LAPD. Only problem is, they seem to have little to do.
Eventually, and I mean, eventually, we are introduced to our bad guy. He is an international outlaw played by Olivier Martinez. After being picked up on a routine traffic stop, and failing to escape with his own thugs help, he offers $100 million dollars to anyone that helps him get loose. Yes, the power of the media broadcasting that message leads to all hell breaking out. Ridiculous, but, hey, at least it finally led to some action sequences. Check out LA’s finest gang members with their elaborate plot to cash in- as if the fugitive has a check book with him. This movie only works when things blow up and people get shot at, and that’s not frequent enough for me.
Samuel L. Jackson and Colin Farrell are two pretty fine actors, but what can you do with parts that only require you to look tough and act noble? Nothing would have worked without Farrell, because he’s the brains who figures out things. I’m not sure why Jackson was even necessary. The dialogue is pat and the real villain is obvious from just the first few scenes. I also felt vaguely set-up for a sequel (again). Hey, but at least they once again use the Red Line subway in a movie. I’m beginning to think that happens so frequently because, let me see, because no one is using it?
I’m not asking for my money back because I think I got exactly what I figured I’d get-just a more elaborate version of the TV show. I give “S.W.A.T.” a “5.0” on the scale.
Friday, August 1st, 2003
I have a vision – twenty years from now, I’m playing “Trivial Pursuit” and the answer to some pop culture question will be “Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck”. But it will take me a few moments to come up with their names, because, let’s face it, their fifteen minutes are almost up. I think of them as, let’s see, I’ll go back twenty years or so – yeah, I’ve got it, “Joanie Loves Chaci” from “Happy Days”. I can’t quite figure out if they choose bad roles, or, can’t act, or both.
I’ll save you about ten bucks and give you the only thing you might come away with if you waste two hours with this pair – Ben Affleck plays a guy named Larry Gigli and it’s pronounced “Zhee-lee”, it rhymes with “really”. That’s it – goodnight folks.
I mean the storyline here is preposterous. Larry is some kind of mob enforcer here in L.A. He’s working for a thug named Lewis who directs him to kidnap a mentally disabled kid. The kid is the brother of a federal prosecutor who is after a mob kingpin from back east. Incredibly, Jennifer Lopez plays another mob enforcer named Ricki hired by Lewis to make sure Larry doesn’t screw up.
The entire movie is about bringing Larry and Ricki together romantically, but all is complicated by the fact that Ricki isn’t really her name and she’s a lesbian. I’m not making this up. And if I told you she tries to convince Larry he might be gay, would you hang in there for the rest of this review?
The only two words I can think of that best describe this movie are “boring” and “preposterous”. Which is hard to do since usually a preposterous movie has something interesting about it. Hey, we’re breaking new ground here.
I sat there the first forty minutes so bored. The movie stays set in Larry’s apartment and goes nowhere. You’ll find yourself more interested in watching the mentally disabled kid (played by Justin Bartha). It’s a junior “Rainman” performance, but is still much more compelling than watching “Dead and Deader” go through the motions. There are also cameos from people who can really act like Christopher Walken and Al Pacino. Sadly, while they held my interest, it was all too brief and too strange.
I will say they tried to be different with the love story of “Gigli”, but yikes, this is excrement. I give it a “2.0” on the scale.
